The Letter That Was Never Sent

Alva-01.

Dear my dearest human,

I never know this will be sent to you or not, will be read by you or not. That is okay. But, if you be able to read this, please read it alone and I will appreciate it if you don’t share it to anyone.

I write it in this language because I know, wait… I mean I still remember, the day you said it’s too funny to hear I spoke in Minang Language. Eight years ago right? Hmm, even we speak in Bahasa but I don’t want to write this in Bahasa also because, for me, it’s not my style to write this. Huh It feels like…it’s not me now!

I don’t know where I should start this letter, but the things that I want you to know is read this ‘till finish or stop it from here.

Well,

I know you more when you never know about me. It seems like I know every single things in your life but you don’t do the same -to me-.

You know, I love all my best friends. The last time when I couldn’t contact my last ex-chairmate in high school, I was shocked. I’m not used to things that happen suddenly. So do you. I was shocked the day that you contacted me again, the day you told about ‘your day’ and everything in between. I was shocked but I enjoy(ed) it slowly… ‘till now? Who knows? Haha dunno lah.

I always hope that it never happen in my life but that’s okay. Someone ever told me, “Sebaik-baiknya manusia adalah yang bermanfaat”, “Itu guna almamater”.

I just can’t believe at the end, I fall too deep. And I won’t do that again! Because in this chapter, it isn’t ‘just me’ that burdened but also person who receive it. I believe that you know this but you pretend you do not know.

You choose to not show it because you don’t care uh? That’s okay lah. There is nothing to force it. But I will say thank you if you tell what you feel. Whatever it is, I hope it makes me better -to accept it. And for everything that we had ever done together, may each of us be happy -with our own way.

Ganesha,
November, 29th 2019.